Brainwaves.

They put something in me which filled me with envy at first

Than a wave of empathy for my fellow human being

Which had berated me for my transgressions on my actuality of existence

Which faltered fast for instance they never told me how to do it

I just knew how to get through it

Never been taught before except for that one teacher that I abhor known as false memory

Which served so steadfast in keeping your ass on the grass

Your toddler feet never evolved to get involved into whatever matters most

Couldn’t even get up to greet your host

Who made this world possible but not passable

Tell them that you might as well leave behind what you last saw

That one past fall when they took you into the sky filling your eye

With twice as much sight as previously seen before

You know that’s what I adore when I see you are looking at me deeply

But I gotta’ keep to these tracks they set me on

I would take you along but it’s a one seated train

I cant really complain when nothing is ever the same

They tore it out of my chest and replaced it with the rest

That was needed in my head though would have never been obtained until I was dead

I felt it dig deep in the skin but I knew that I would win

The game was rigged

Every card I pulled was an ace speeding out at a dizzying pace

I savored the taste of the bile

Which came behind a curled tongue that held back words banal and benign

It’s hard to unwind when they push into your mind

Set your engine to rewind reset pause

Give a moment to view your cause

Which evidently leads to death

Do not hold your breath because when it’s gone

You wont be able to hold on

Might as well jump into the darkness with open arms and mind

You will find the bottom doesn’t exist

So we learn to unclench our fist and coexist peaceably

Sun Journal

__________
For those of you who care, the sun has been catching quite the attitude lately, the main star of attraction being sunspot 1112. Here I have so leisurely put together the archives that date from the beginning of the activity to present day (I will add more to the archive as activity continues).

This ”Sun Journal” contains sources which lead to the Spaceweather website, where NASA instruments have clear footage of the activity mentioned, and the imagery is absolutely free to the public.
____

Oct 10 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=10&month=10&year=2010

Emerging sunspot 1112 is connected to a vast network of dark magnetic filaments looping around the sun’s southeastern limb. NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory took this picture of the region just hours ago:
Filaments such as these have a habit of erupting. Will the fact that they are rooted in a sunspot make them more–or less–stable? No one knows. The magnetohydrodynamics of sunspots is so complex, not even the most powerful supercomputers on Earth can predict when they will erupt. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor this region for unexpected developments.

Oct 13 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=13&month=10&year=2010

A dark magnetic filament is stretching around the southeastern limb of the sun. “Seeing was poor today at my observatory in Selsey, UK,” reports astrophotographer Pete Lawrence, “but this gorgeous filament made it well worth taking a ride on the atmospheric wobbles.”
Magnetic filaments on the sun have a tendency to erupt. This one is attached to sunspot 1112. Does that make it more–or less–stable? No one knows. The magnetohydrodynamics of sunspots is so complex, not even the most powerful supercomputers on Earth can predict when they will explode. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor this region for unexpected developments.

Oct 15 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=15&month=10&year=2010

The biggest thing on the sun today is not a sunspot–and it’s not even close. A dark magnetic filament 20 times wider than a typical sunspot is meandering across the sun’s southern hemisphere. It’s so big, astrophotographer Pete Lawrence of Selsey, UK, had to stitch together several pictures to display the entire structure:
The filament is filled with relatively dense plasma held above the stellar surface by magnetic forces. Because this plasma is cooler than the sun below, it appears dark. In fact, it is not. If you could hold the filament out against the black of space, it would glow more brightly than a full Moon.
The 400,000-km scale of the filament–long enough to stretch from Earth to the Moon!–makes it an easy target for safely-filtered backyard optics. If you have a solar telescope, take a look.

Oct 16 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=16&month=10&year=2010

Sunspot 1112 erupted today at 1900 UT, producing the brightest solar flare in nearly three months. Click here to view a movie of the M1-class explosion from NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory.

Oct 17 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=17&month=10&year=2010

Fast-growing sunspot 1112 is crackling with solar flares. SDO movies show the three strongest of the past 24 hours: an M3-flare @ 1910 UT on Oct. 16th, a C1-flare @ 0900 UT and another C1-flare @ 1740 UT on Oct. 17th. So far, none of the blasts has hurled a substantial CME toward Earth.
A vast filament of magnetism is cutting across the sun’s southern hemisphere today. Run a finger along the golden-brown line in this extreme UV image from the Solar Dynamics Observatory and your digit will have traveled more than 400,000 km:
A bright ‘hot spot’ just north of the filament’s midpoint is UV radiation from sunspot 1112. The proximity is no coincidence; the filament appears to be rooted in the sunspot below. If the sunspot flares, it could cause the entire structure to erupt.
UPDATE: Yesterday’s M3-flare did not destabilize the filament. Stay tuned, however, because sunspot 1112 is growing and more activity is possible in the hours ahead. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor developments.

Oct 18 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=18&month=10&year=2010

An awesome, monstrous, jaw-dropping, 400,000 km long filament of magnetism is stretched across the sun’s southern hemisphere. If it collapses or erupts, as filaments often do, the result could be an Earth-directed coronal mass ejection. Meanwhile it is a fine target for backyard solar telescopes.
Magnetic instabilities in the filament caused an eruption today around 1600 UT. The filament was not destroyed, nor was material hurled toward Earth. SDO movies: mpeg, m4v.

Oct 19 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=19&month=10&year=2010

For days, astronomers have been monitoring a “mega-filament” of magnetism splayed across the sun’s southern hemisphere. Measuring more than 500,000 km from end to end, it spans a distance greater than the separation of Earth and the Moon. Oct. 18th the massive structure erupted:
Instabilities in the filament sparked a C2-class flare and hurled a portion of the filament’s own magnetic backbone into space. The blast was not Earth-directed. Remarkably, the structure survived mostly intact and is still visible in backyard optics. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor developments.

Oct 24 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=24&month=10&year=2010

NOAA forecasters have downgraded the chance of a severe geomagnetic storm on Oct. 25th to only 1%. Nevertheless, high-latitude sky watchers should remain alert for auroras as a solar wind stream continues to buffet Earth’s magnetic field.

Oct 25 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=25&month=10&year=2010

Sunspot group 1117 more than tripled in size over the weekend: SDO movie. The active region has not yet produced a major eruption, but it is crackling with picturesque B-class solar flares. Stay tuned for updates.

Oct 26 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=26&month=10&year=2010

Sunspot group 1117 continues to grow, more than doubling in area during the past 48 hours: movie. Each of the primary dark cores in this Oct. 26th snapshot from the Solar Dynamics Observatory is fully as wide as Earth:
The sunspot’s magnetic field is crackling with B- and C-class solar flares: 36-hour movie. So far, these impulsive eruptions have not hurled any substantial clouds toward Earth. A big flare would be geoeffective, however, because the sunspot is almost-squarely facing Earth. Stay tuned!

Oct 27 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=27&month=10&year=2010

Behemoth sunspot 1117 is not merely growing, it is transmogrifying. Click on the image to launch a two-day movie from NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory (8 MB):
Since yesterday, the shape-shifting sunspot has developed a “beta-gamma” magnetic field that harbors energy for M-class solar flares. Any such eruptions will likely be geoeffective because the sunspot is almost-squarely facing Earth. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor developments.

Oct 28 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=28&month=10&year=2010

Earlier today (Oct. 28th) a twisted filament of magnetism on the sun suddenly untwisted. The result was a spectacular eruption recorded in full-disk detail by NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory. Click on the image to set the scene in motion:
At its peak, the twister–or rather, untwister–towered more than 350,000 km above the stellar surface. It appears to have hurled a fragment of itself into space, but not toward Earth; the blast was not geoeffective.

Now that the filament has relaxed, it is unlikely to erupt again. The next blast is more likely to come from big sunspot 1117, which NOAA forecasters say could produce an M-class solar flare. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor developments.

Oct 30 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=30&month=10&year=2010

Sunspot 1117 is now so large, it can be seen without the aid of a solar telescope. Mohamad Soltanolkottabi “spotted it” this morning when the sun was rising over Esfahan, Iran:
“I took this photo while climbing up Sofe mountain,” says Soltanolkottabi. “It was a good way to start the day.”
Although the sunspot is big–its primary core is four times wider than Earth–it is also quiet. The sunspot’s magnetic field has relaxed into an uncomplicated state that seems to pose little threat for solar flares. There is, however, a high probability of photo-ops. Stay tuned.

Nov 2 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=02&month=11&year=2010

Remember that spectacular mega-filament of magnetism sprawling across the sun’s southern hemisphere in October? It’s back….almost. For the past 10 days, the filament has been out of sight transiting the farside of the sun. This image from NASA’s STEREO-B spacecraft suggests that the magnificent structure is about to return:
STEREO-B is stationed above the sun’s eastern limb with a good view of things just over the horizon. The ultraviolet hotspot pictured above is where the filament would be if it is still intact. A continuing series of eruptions like this one might have decimated the structure, leaving it in tatters. We’ll find out soon enough. Solar rotation is turning the region toward Earth and it should begin to be visible around Nov. 5th. Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor developments.

Nov 3 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=03&month=11&year=2010

An active region just over the sun’s eastern horizon is crackling with solar flares and hurling material high above the stellar surface. This extreme ultraviolet movie from NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory shows the strongest blast so far, a C4-class event at 1220 UT on Nov. 3rd:

Nov 4 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=04&month=11&year=2010

An active sunspot is about to emerge over the sun’s southeastern horizon. It announced itself yesterday with a C4-class flare that hurled material high above the stellar surface, shown here in a movie from NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory:
Although the explosion happened behind the limb of the sun, it nevertheless yielded enough x-radiation to produce a wave of ionization in Earth’s upper atmosphere. Researcher Rob Stammes recorded a sudden ionospheric disturbance (SID) when the wave passed over his lab in Laukvik, Norway. (Learn more about SIDs here.) Without even showing itself, the sunspot is already geoeffective.

The source of this activity appears to be old active region 1112. It crossed the Earth-facing side of the sun back in October, a sunspot dragging a magnificent filament of magnetism behind it. Two weeks later, AR1112 t is coming around for a second pass. Yesterday’s eruption may be read as “hello, I’m back.” Readers with solar telescopes are encouraged to monitor developments.

Nov 6 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=07&month=11&year=2010

Active sunspot 1121 has unleashed one of the brightest x-ray solar flares in years, an M5.4-class eruption at 15:36 UT on Nov. 6th.

Radiation from the flare created a wave of ionization in Earth’s upper atmosphere that altered the propagation of low-frequency radio waves. There was, however, no bright CME (plasma cloud) hurled in our direction, so the event is unlikely to produce auroras in the nights ahead. This is the third M-flare in as many days from this increasingly active sunspot. So far none of the eruptions has been squarely Earth-directed, but this could change in the days ahead as the sun’s rotation turns the active region toward our planet. Now might be a good time to sign up for space weather alerts.

Nov 8 2010
(Source:) http://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=08&month=11&year=2010

Prompted by a recent increase in solar activity, more than a hundred researchers and government officials are converging on Helwan, Egypt, this week to discuss the peril of storms from the sun.

Rules of Beauty

Breathe the air that encircles you. Understand that you are breathing. Experience the frigid air that enters and escapes as warmth. Gaze into your lungs and find eternally that you are breathing. Feel the breaths urge you, empower you, invigorate you, as well as uplift you. Sense your chest rise then fall. Feel your blood transporting that breath to where it is lacking. Do not practice the same mistake that most practice by subconsciously breathing. Be your breath and euphoria will follow.

 

Dance until your feet give way. Open your mornings with dance and accompany dance at night. Feel the rhythm of your music pumping through your veins, and pounding in your bones. The earth is your drum, play it with your feet. Be comfortable with your step. Only let the thought of dance enter your mind as you do so. Dance with the music as your companion. Dance and liveliness will set in.

 

Observe life through the eyes of someone witnessing it for the first time. Observe the patterns that life shows like the vibrant plume of a peacock. Live for the moment of feeling, whatever that feeling may be… at least you are sentient. Tell yourself that there is no such thing as an ordinary moment and observe the magic unfold. Go down harshly with the downs, fly with gusto with the highs. Never ignore one moment and life will be beautiful.

Life is Good.

Life is good when the first thought you wake up with is, “What could I achieve today.” When every bite tastes utterly sublime, much alike the first bite, life is good. When your phone reminds  you that you have friends who fancy your company, though you already have so much to pursue on your own, life is good.

Sometimes life will give you hurtles. Nevertheless, even when you slip let alone bite the dirt, you laugh, recover and keep dashing… so life is good. Even when you are absent of breath as you collapse to the earth to catch your breath, you recognize that you deserve this break, also, that life is good. Life is good when it seems identical to the playground of first grade, only 20 billion times enlarged.

 

Sometimes life becomes solitary. You witness the goodness of life, though you have none to share it with, but life is still good. Life is still good since you will never be alone, you possess every reason to be optimistic and no reason to give up.

 

I guess what I am trying to tell you here is that life is good.

Singularity

We have all experienced what we call being single. This is where we have broken our ties to a significant other for whatever reason, leaving us in the single state where we are off to either find ourselves or look for another mate frantically to fill in that void.

After a year of living in the single state, things started to go in unimaginable directions where they would have never gone in a non-single state. This phenomenon in the single experience caused me to take a look at the single lifestyle and rewrite it as the singularity.

So if you have a moment of time to spare, I would like to reintroduce you to what it means to be single and the joys that the singularity has to offer.

Singularity

1. The quality or condition of being singular.

2. A trait marking one as distinct from others; a peculiarity.

3. Something uncommon or unusual.

4. Astrophysics: A point of infinite density and infinitesimal volume, at which space and time become infinitely distorted according to the theory of General Relativity. According to the big bang theory, a gravitational singularity existed at the beginning of the universe. Singularities are also believed to exist at the center of black holes.

At first, the singularity exists only as inner conflict, war with the self. Some know they have been to these grounds before. It is reminiscent to a ghost limb, a friend who moved away, or a life of habit forcefully rewritten. The mind keeps looking for the significant other in everyday life, knowing that it will not find them. The conscious fights the subconscious telling it to let go – but the subconscious has a very hard time doing this.

Depending on what happens next, some people would drown out all efforts of the singularity (usually to come back but not without the burdens of the actions). These actions usually include engaging in self-destructive behaviors ranging from drinking binges, acquiring fuck buddies, drug binges, sexual crusades, to exile, abandonment of friends and job, and (depending on the extent of the loss) raging serial killer.

Eventually the person experiencing the destructive aspects of the singularity will realize that there is no point in fighting or trying to drown out the voice of their subconscious mind. This is where the most pivotal step of the singularity can begin.

The person experiencing the singularity now takes a step back while observing the desiring aspects of the subconscious, becoming aware that the conscious mind  cannot provide for these desires. So the person begins searching for new interests in avenues that they would have never thought of before. Thus dawns the era of exploration of the singularity.

At this point a computer enthusiast who stays indoors for most of his life might break out and experience an entirely opposite walk of life. Or by the same token, a person who spent all of their time outdoors with their significant other might look into more indoor-oriented hobbies. This becomes the reintroduction of self to self. The person experiencing the singularity now realizes that like all things, you must make your own way through life.

The singularity is now in full view. Previous sentiments of loneliness that seemed impossible to accomplish before are now sentiments being mastered with ease. Waking up alone in the mornings is no longer a moment of despair, but instead a moment of utmost excitement. The person realizes that without the other one there, the opportunities and choices one makes during the day becomes boundless. Every step is one of uncertainty birthing an excitement made of adrenaline and anticipation.

After all is said and done, the person no longer experiences the singularity but becomes the singularity. They remember the feel of love  and devotion towards another, but they don’t care about how it felt. They begin to realize the importance of the moment and how it feels now. They are open to receiving a new mate but are not actively looking; they are busy enough as it is enjoying the singularity.

The struggle of loneliness is long gone at this point. Love is no longer a thing meant for exclusivity of a person. The love becomes all-encompassing, for friends, for every emotion, for the earth, for the sky, and most importantly for the self and the life of the singularity.

What To Miss: The City

Three months of pristine, wild land. I didn’t ever want to come back to the city, it didn’t feel right to me anymore. I have truly come to feel more at home away from home. My very fortunate life took a fortunate turn, announcing that I had three more months to spend in the wild and quite possibly a year after that. There was a catch. Five days in the city before my re-indoctrination of the wilds.

I suppose this is me finding things to look forward to in my five days of city.

What do I really miss about the city?

I miss taking hot showers with different fragrances, freshly laundered towels and clothes, full breakfasts, rare coffee blends, ridiculous newspaper articles, and the morning sun filtering through the blinds.

I miss sticking my head out of the window while on the highway and the feeling of air buffeting my face. I miss guessing where other people in the cars next to me are going, and what their story is.

I miss waiting for the public transit system. It reminds me of how often I used to take it and all of the different people I would meet and stories I would hear. I miss bus rides in the night.

I miss discovering warmly decorated offices while running errands. It reminds me of the adaptability of humanity and their power to make whatever condition suitable to them, even if in a cubicle.

I miss beautiful girls on public bike trails and the smiles they give me as they ride by. I miss the style of ‘outdoor’ city girls in this particular city, not quite outdoorsy but they make a good effort.

I miss the 25% of profits that companies must spend towards art in their construction plans.

I miss local radio stations during long car rides. I especially miss the classical channel and how it synchronizes with the urban safari I observe.

I miss the flowers that make the concrete and glass easier to look at. I also miss good architecture.

I miss roadside vendors and the scents that they blanket the air with. I miss the swarms of tourists that flock to roadside vendors. I especially miss pretty tourist girls.

I miss long lines at cheap drive-thru places and the hilarious moments usually caused by them. I miss lunch visits with my dad and helping him out where he needs it.

I miss the smell of freshly cut grass. I miss the symmetry that people struggle so hard with to attain and working on menial tasks in the yard.

I miss fresh meals with a wide range of choices. I miss the refrigerator, the oven, the stove, and everything else I used to cook with.

I miss comfortable furniture, warm buildings, deep naps, and dry socks.
I miss the love of my feline companion and watching a movie with her before I retire for the night.

I miss sleeping all the way through the night uninterrupted, always confident that it will be warm, and waking completely refreshed for the next cup of coffee.

Notions of The Forests

We are three kings, roaming in the night of our forest kingdom. Our thrones are made of the mighty trunks of trees that gave way to our presence. We share the bounty that the forest provides… and weed out any infidels.

I am a scribe, sitting in my tent – observing the sound of the creek. The night-bird sings as slumber calls. Let sleep take over me.. so that I may write another tale.

I have come to realize, that all is not as we see. The myths of old do have truth – and the animals of the forests and lands are not animals at all as we see them so.

A revitalization is upon me, contemplating pupation is coming to an end. The cocoon slides away – I accept the teachings of the forest and all that it entails.

I have come here as the observer, not the participator. I have come as the treasure, not the seeker of treasure.

I have come to experience life, in pain, in beauty, in splendor, in desperation, in success.

I have come to give witness to love, to empathy, to apathy, and all the hatred humanity can possess.

My purpose is to see, not seek. My purpose is to feel, not hope.