We have all experienced what we call being single. This is where we have broken our ties to a significant other for whatever reason, leaving us in the single state where we are off to either find ourselves or look for another mate frantically to fill in that void.

After a year of living in the single state, things started to go in unimaginable directions where they would have never gone in a non-single state. This phenomenon in the single experience caused me to take a look at the single lifestyle and rewrite it as the singularity.

So if you have a moment of time to spare, I would like to reintroduce you to what it means to be single and the joys that the singularity has to offer.


1. The quality or condition of being singular.
2. A trait marking one as distinct from others; a peculiarity.
3. Something uncommon or unusual.
4. Astrophysics: A point of infinite density and infinitesimal volume, at which space and time become infinitely distorted according to the theory of General Relativity. According to the big bang theory, a gravitational singularity existed at the beginning of the universe. Singularities are also believed to exist at the center of black holes.

At first, the singularity exists only as inner conflict, war with the self. Some know they have been to these grounds before. It is reminiscent to a ghost limb, a friend who moved away, or a life of habit forcefully rewritten. The mind keeps looking for the significant other in everyday life, knowing that it will not find them. The conscious fights the subconscious telling it to let go – but the subconscious has a very hard time doing this.

Depending on what happens next, some people would drown out all efforts of the singularity (usually to come back but not without the burdens of the actions). These actions usually include engaging in self-destructive behaviors ranging from drinking binges, acquiring fuck buddies, drug binges, sexual crusades, to exile, abandonment of friends and job, and (depending on the extent of the loss) raging serial killer.

Eventually the person experiencing the destructive aspects of the singularity will realize that there is no point in fighting or trying to drown out the voice of their subconscious mind. This is where the most pivotal step of the singularity can begin.

The person experiencing the singularity now takes a step back while observing the desiring aspects of the subconscious, becoming aware that the conscious mind  cannot provide for these desires. So the person begins searching for new interests in avenues that they would have never thought of before. Thus dawns the era of exploration of the singularity.

At this point a computer enthusiast who stays indoors for most of his life might break out and experience an entirely opposite walk of life. Or by the same token, a person who spent all of their time outdoors with their significant other might look into more indoor-oriented hobbies. This becomes the reintroduction of self to self. The person experiencing the singularity now realizes that like all things, you must make your own way through life.

The singularity is now in full view. Previous sentiments of loneliness that seemed impossible to accomplish before are now sentiments being mastered with ease. Waking up alone in the mornings is no longer a moment of despair, but instead a moment of utmost excitement. The person realizes that without the other one there, the opportunities and choices one makes during the day becomes boundless. Every step is one of uncertainty birthing an excitement made of adrenaline and anticipation.

After all is said and done, the person no longer experiences the singularity but becomes the singularity. They remember the feel of love  and devotion towards another, but they don’t care about how it felt. They begin to realize the importance of the moment and how it feels now. They are open to receiving a new mate but are not actively looking; they are busy enough as it is enjoying the singularity.

The struggle of loneliness is long gone at this point. Love is no longer a thing meant for exclusivity of a person. The love becomes all-encompassing, for friends, for every emotion, for the earth, for the sky, and most importantly for the self and the life of the singularity.


About dak89

Dakota is a free lance photographer and writer. He combines both original writing and photography into one, both inspired by events in his life and insights gained during said moments. View all posts by dak89

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