Monthly Archives: August 2010

Singularity

We have all experienced what we call being single. This is where we have broken our ties to a significant other for whatever reason, leaving us in the single state where we are off to either find ourselves or look for another mate frantically to fill in that void.

After a year of living in the single state, things started to go in unimaginable directions where they would have never gone in a non-single state. This phenomenon in the single experience caused me to take a look at the single lifestyle and rewrite it as the singularity.

So if you have a moment of time to spare, I would like to reintroduce you to what it means to be single and the joys that the singularity has to offer.

Singularity

1. The quality or condition of being singular.
2. A trait marking one as distinct from others; a peculiarity.
3. Something uncommon or unusual.
4. Astrophysics: A point of infinite density and infinitesimal volume, at which space and time become infinitely distorted according to the theory of General Relativity. According to the big bang theory, a gravitational singularity existed at the beginning of the universe. Singularities are also believed to exist at the center of black holes.

At first, the singularity exists only as inner conflict, war with the self. Some know they have been to these grounds before. It is reminiscent to a ghost limb, a friend who moved away, or a life of habit forcefully rewritten. The mind keeps looking for the significant other in everyday life, knowing that it will not find them. The conscious fights the subconscious telling it to let go – but the subconscious has a very hard time doing this.

Depending on what happens next, some people would drown out all efforts of the singularity (usually to come back but not without the burdens of the actions). These actions usually include engaging in self-destructive behaviors ranging from drinking binges, acquiring fuck buddies, drug binges, sexual crusades, to exile, abandonment of friends and job, and (depending on the extent of the loss) raging serial killer.

Eventually the person experiencing the destructive aspects of the singularity will realize that there is no point in fighting or trying to drown out the voice of their subconscious mind. This is where the most pivotal step of the singularity can begin.

The person experiencing the singularity now takes a step back while observing the desiring aspects of the subconscious, becoming aware that the conscious mind  cannot provide for these desires. So the person begins searching for new interests in avenues that they would have never thought of before. Thus dawns the era of exploration of the singularity.

At this point a computer enthusiast who stays indoors for most of his life might break out and experience an entirely opposite walk of life. Or by the same token, a person who spent all of their time outdoors with their significant other might look into more indoor-oriented hobbies. This becomes the reintroduction of self to self. The person experiencing the singularity now realizes that like all things, you must make your own way through life.

The singularity is now in full view. Previous sentiments of loneliness that seemed impossible to accomplish before are now sentiments being mastered with ease. Waking up alone in the mornings is no longer a moment of despair, but instead a moment of utmost excitement. The person realizes that without the other one there, the opportunities and choices one makes during the day becomes boundless. Every step is one of uncertainty birthing an excitement made of adrenaline and anticipation.

After all is said and done, the person no longer experiences the singularity but becomes the singularity. They remember the feel of love  and devotion towards another, but they don’t care about how it felt. They begin to realize the importance of the moment and how it feels now. They are open to receiving a new mate but are not actively looking; they are busy enough as it is enjoying the singularity.

The struggle of loneliness is long gone at this point. Love is no longer a thing meant for exclusivity of a person. The love becomes all-encompassing, for friends, for every emotion, for the earth, for the sky, and most importantly for the self and the life of the singularity.


What To Miss: The City

Three months of pristine, wild land. I didn’t ever want to come back to the city, it didn’t feel right to me anymore. I have truly come to feel more at home away from home. My very fortunate life took a fortunate turn, announcing that I had three more months to spend in the wild and quite possibly a year after that. There was a catch. Five days in the city before my re-indoctrination of the wilds.

I suppose this is me finding things to look forward to in my five days of city.

What do I really miss about the city?


I miss taking hot showers with different fragrances, freshly laundered towels and clothes, full breakfasts, rare coffee blends, ridiculous newspaper articles, and the morning sun filtering through the blinds.

I miss sticking my head out of the window while on the highway and the feeling of air buffeting my face. I miss guessing where other people in the cars next to me are going, and what their story is.

I miss waiting for the public transit system. It reminds me of how often I used to take it and all of the different people I would meet and stories I would hear. I miss bus rides in the night.

I miss discovering warmly decorated offices while running errands. It reminds me of the adaptability of humanity and their power to make whatever condition suitable to them, even if in a cubicle.

I miss beautiful girls on public bike trails and the smiles they give me as they ride by. I miss the style of ‘outdoor’ city girls in this particular city, not quite outdoorsy but they make a good effort.

I miss the 25% of profits that companies must spend towards art in their construction plans.

I miss local radio stations during long car rides. I especially miss the classical channel and how it synchronizes with the urban safari I observe.

I miss the flowers that make the concrete and glass easier to look at. I also miss good architecture.

I miss roadside vendors and the scents that they blanket the air with. I miss the swarms of tourists that flock to roadside vendors. I especially miss pretty tourist girls.

I miss long lines at cheap drive-thru places and the hilarious moments usually caused by them. I miss lunch visits with my dad and helping him out where he needs it.

I miss the smell of freshly cut grass. I miss the symmetry that people struggle so hard with to attain and working on menial tasks in the yard.

I miss fresh meals with a wide range of choices. I miss the refrigerator, the oven, the stove, and everything else I used to cook with.

I miss comfortable furniture, warm buildings, deep naps, and dry socks.
I miss the love of my feline companion and watching a movie with her before I retire for the night.

I miss sleeping all the way through the night uninterrupted, always confident that it will be warm, and waking completely refreshed for the next cup of coffee.


Notions of The Forests

We are three kings, roaming in the night of our forest kingdom. Our thrones are made of the mighty trunks of trees that gave way to our presence. We share the bounty that the forest provides… and weed out any infidels.


I am a scribe, sitting in my tent – observing the sound of the creek. The night-bird sings as slumber calls. Let sleep take over me.. so that I may write another tale.

I have come to realize, that all is not as we see. The myths of old do have truth – and the animals of the forests and lands are not animals at all as we see them so.

A revitalization is upon me, contemplating pupation is coming to an end. The cocoon slides away – I accept the teachings of the forest and all that it entails.

I have come here as the observer, not the participator. I have come as the treasure, not the seeker of treasure.

I have come to experience life, in pain, in beauty, in splendor, in desperation, in success.

I have come to give witness to love, to empathy, to apathy, and all the hatred humanity can possess.

My purpose is to see, not seek. My purpose is to feel, not hope.